Monday, January 1, 2007
I have spent much of my adult life un-schooling (although I have called it unlearning, deprogramming and other related terms~ its all the same) in an attempt to know my own true mind as well as that Mind which we all share. In choosing to have children, (for the second time) and at a more mature stage in my recognition of myself and therefore my life, I have been met with the ‘parental/societal’ script, not only externally lending influence, but internally; riding me as to supposed to’s and right and wrongs and ‘good-mom-ness’, (I’m sure many can relate). This parental scripting hit me smack on in the face as I attempted to implement what I had grown to love about my coming to know mySelf and the core dignity and rights to life of humankind, as well as our innate will to interact with our environment, learn all we can, assimilate it into who we are and share that with those we come in contact with, which, has facilitated some of my greatest learning, it turns out. The innate, whole dignity of each and every human being, has been an indelible blue print within my psyche all my life, and far before I had language to articulate or even intellectually understand how it has flowed as an undercurrent, continually influencing my way of being and therefore the choices I have made. As I began reading about unschooling, I was filled with the feeling of ‘having come home’, which I have learned in my life is a feeling worth paying attention to… It has been a continual struggle for me to ‘do the right thing’ or even really get a fix on what that might be where “schooling” was concerned... Duh! The whole concept is bogus! I knew this in the back of my mind, yet I didn’t have a fix on another way of looking at the whole system that would allow for a return to integrity for myself as well as my children, seeing as I was blinded by the ‘supposed to’ of schooling and teaching. Funny how you can just turn the dial ever so slightly, and the whole perspective of a situation changes, yes? No wonder I felt a constant struggle with my integrity sending my boys off to school, the whole homework nightmare, the terrified “professionals” involved... The whole system of schooling itself completely conflicts with the intrinsic nature of humankind to experience their lives . I just couldn’t put my finger on it… But, turn the dial back to core, and all confusion is satisfied in a single experience: TRUST!
The truth is that I trust my children. I trust that they do indeed, have everything within themselves to live their lives fully, joyfully, intelligently and interestingly. And, as with each of us, my children will, despite or in spite of and/or together with, all other seeming influences, including myself, live exactly the lives they were meant to live. I can ‘know’ them by being with them fully; supporting their interests, sharing in their ideas, learning from and with them with open eyes and mind, or I can never really know who they are, but only have a relationship with what I am trying to mold them to be. No thanks on the latter. What I have witnessed is that they always invite assistance when they want it and love to share their thoughts, ideas, play and questions freely, if not coerced.
This is what I’ve come to realize; it turns out we are always teaching everything that we believe we are through demonstration; the way that I interact with everyone and everything is what I believe I am. I am grateful to tap into a rich-flowing source of these ideas in practice.
I noticed a mix of emotions arise within me as a result of making the decision to allow learning naturally, standing on the mark of unschooling as a familial structure. It is truly exhilarating! Yet, running neck and neck with the alive, exhilaration is a subtle fear; one I am familiar with. It is the fear to trust completely and face freedom nakedly.
I know this one well however, I have faced it at every significant crossroad of my life, when each time I have broken convention, looked within for the truth and followed my heart. Here’s where true learning takes place… It is the intrinsic right of every being….
Wow! What an invigorating, breath-taking ride! My children are the best companions and camaraderie’s ever! I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss it, frankly… ~~ GAME ON~~
